Dear Graham
I’m a 52-year-old gay man. I’ve never had a full physical relationship with anyone, though I have “dabbled” with a trusted friend. Shortly after birth, I developed scoliosis and although it was treated with major surgery when I was nine, the operation was only a partial success and I am, to use the old-fashioned term, a hunchback. I can’t describe the effect this has had on my mental health; but I’m in touch with various mental health organisations and have recently joined a low self-esteem group.
However, the effect on my love life has been even worse. I have always been happy and sure in my sexuality; but the gay world always seemed so much about physical beauty and just not open to me. As I age, my sense of regret at never having been able to express this part of my nature has grown more acute.
I have a social life, I have a Gaydar profile (mentioning my back), I have even...
